Tarot for the 21st Century!
I was recently in an argument and got really angry, and the more I thought, "I'm SO ANGRY,"
the more I resisted that anger, and the more angry I got, having been programmed to believe this was not a good/healthy/right emotion to have.
Now look at what that awful person (whom I love dearly which is why they had the ability to activate this anger inside of me, because I care for them) has caused me to do. I'm bad, they're bad, anger is bad, everything is bad. BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My body is hot, my nerves are shot, my mind is racing, I'm totally out of control, I've lost my peace and joy and I'm on my way to losing my mind and health!!
"I HATE ANGER!!!!"
Huh? Did I just hear myself say, I hate anger? Wow, you mean, it wasn't the person or the situation I'm hating?
This person was just a tool/mirror for me to bring up this anger I've had living within me? Anger I didn't acknowledge earlier in this life or God knows how many past lives. Anger I've been carrying around for centuries? Some of it not even mine, some of it from others that I took on myself to help them? Mass Consciousness anger?
So if I hate anger, do I also hate all of the other emotions that don't feel good? Like sadness, guilt, fear, etc. Am I warring with them too? Geeez, sounds like The Wars of Vicki's Worlds!
It's not other people or circumstances that I'm at war with...it's the emotions rising up within me that I'm fighting, resisting. It's ME, I AM ANGER, I AM GUILT, I AM.....oh wow...I'm warring with myself!
So to unconditionally love ALL of myself, I can love this part of me, these tools I have been gifted with to create with.
My deepest, darkest, inner messengers for helping me create the world/experience I want and to show me what I don't want to create/experience.
I'm stopping the resistance and war, I'm watching and listening to all of my emotions without judgment, the wisdom that my emotional friends Anger, Guilt, Fear, etc are helping me to understand.
I feel like they are clouds that are fading away, evaporating from the Sunlight breaking through what had been a dark, gray, heavy storm cloud.
Thank you Anger, I love you, I'm so sorry for all the imprisoning I have put you through for all of
these centuries when you were just trying to help me, to express that part of me.
Peace, Vicki Jenkins