I watched my son's heart break as I nursed my own

This Victorian Romantic rendition of the Three of Swords captures despair and pain in a haunting and beautiful way.  She is weeping, appearing to be in the acute stages of mourning. Like a lover, unable to watch her beloved walk away, she holds her tear brimmed eyes so that we can't see her grief. 

This card is the epitome of grief, heartbreak. I drew this card over two weeks ago, but haven't posted here yet, life has been a whirlwind of shock, pain and disbelief and this card expresses what words sometimes can't. I will try.

    My son's best friend was gunned down in his home on January 21st 2012, he died instantly. This is a boy we watched grow up since the 3rd grade when he first befriended my son as he started in a new school. Brett was such a kind boy, and he was so well loved by everyone who knew him. He was shot when a classmate brought over two boys with the intent to rob him, no one was in the room when he was shot except for the shooter and his friend, the classmate was waiting out in the car as if this had been planned. 

    I had to watch my son's heart break and I nursed my own. I sat with his mother in a house brimming with Brett's many friends. My heart still aches, I mean literally, it hurts, my chest, each time it is in the paper, or on the news. 

I don't get the newspaper usually, but had a few days of it because of this tragic event, and my son served as crucifer at Brett's memorial service and was interviewed about his friend. I happened to be using the odd pages of the paper to wrap some breakable things from my altar to take to a class I will be teaching tomorrow on Love Magic, when my eyes rested on the obituaries and there is was, Brett's obituary. I can't believe I didn't see it before, I was too transfixed with the big headlines that are inevitable when a teen gets murdered in a relatively nice neighborhood. I felt that stabbing in my chest again as I folded it and tucked it with the rest that I am saving.

Brett wrote a poem soon before his death and I am going to post it here, it is called 'Life.'

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~LIFE~  By Brett Wells~

Life, I cannot stand to question it as if it’s an ever flowing cup.

The stars are countless as are my wrong doings, but through all of them you achieve an experience, a bitter taste of wisdom.

We are all measured with great expectations, wealth, and happiness, but life is far more greater.

Go outside, look up at the stars, and just ask yourself, has the beauty of what this Earth holds not succumb to your needs or happiness in life?

Life should be treated to the fullest and not through this greed, selfishness, and never achieving satisfaction. Wars, crusades, and murders are all pointless efforts on gaining anything when all it is, is taking a life, and life is really the true treasure.

Why do we choose items, hypothetical religion, and bloodshed to fight over? When we should be concerting together and treasuring this “life” and enjoying this Earth instead of destroying and eradicating it leaving it naked and salvaged.

Just think about it. It’s time for a change and to do so we must all change.

(Brett is in the middle, my son is the boy on the right)