Tarot for the 21st Century!
This was the last card I was expecting when I picked up my trusty Victorian Romantic deck today. I have recently been through a very tough series of events and feelings. I have been confronted with anger I had forgotten about (proof that the things left unacknowledged always come back around.)
Feeling very misunderstood at the last place of employment I was in, I am deciding whether I should even approach it again, or let it go. I am really having a dilemma about it because it is my professional reputation. I am not wanting to bother the business owner (who I have the utmost respect for,) because she is on vacation, and I know she has the wrong idea about me. The last career move I made was a mistake because I am a free spirit, and cannot seem to conform to being employed by one of my peers. There are things I want to say, but am not saying.
Also, during the recent hurricane, we had tropical storm force winds in the area and they took down mighty trees all around me, one of them being my back neighbors. You could see the branches hanging on the top of our shed, doing no damage to the shed, but making it visible to us. Imaging my surprise when the neighbors piled the debris from *their* tree over the fence into my yard?? Being a peaceful (non confrontational) person, I decided to keep it for my fire pit, and say nothing. It is only me and my kids, and due to the recent events in my family and career life, I am not feeling very powerful. Once again, I am silencing myself. My choice.
I did, however, speak my mind finally to a friend who was condescending and judgmental to me about a life choice she thought I was making (she was also assumptive.) I basically stood up for myself, and now I have lost intimacy with someone who has shown herself to be a friend conditional to my agreement with her opinions. I used to keep silent and love her where she was at, expecting the same in return. I did not get the same in return.
I also spoke my mind to a romantic partner who resurfaced in my life. Things did not go well there. He became a receptacle for anger. Not only towards him, but the injustices and discomfort I felt about the situations I was in.
In both cases, they moved away from me, which brought pain. I know pain is not bad, it is growth, it is shadow… damnit though, it hurts
What could this card be telling me? The figures seem to be in awe of the celestial beings who do appear to be glowing with certainty and sudden enlightenment. Am I in for some enlightenment? I sure hope so? It seems inevitable that it will happen. I will wait and pray like the figures on the card. I will also be ready and waiting for it to show, but wait… Is it already there? If so, then why am I not seeing it?
I have a hard time reading for myself, instead I ponder and reflect on the images before me. The message I am getting with this one is to wait for the ‘aha’ moment, it will come. When it does, I will be ready.
When I look again though, I see the celestial beings as my anger, showing up for me to welcome and acknowledge. Hello anger my old friend……